Are You Playing the Comparison Game?
Comparison is a thief of joy.
Plain and simple.
The comparison game is a losers game no matter which side you are on, so best to just never even step onto the court.
Have you ever longed for something you see someone else have, or want to look more like someone else, or even wish that you had the kind of money it seems like others have?
And when you realized you weren’t there, didn’t have that, or didn’t see yourself in that way, didn’t it steal a little bit of your joy in that moment? Sucks, right?
We all struggle or have struggled with comparison in some way, whether it is about appearance, success, life timelines, accomplishments, etc. The list could go on for days and everyone’s experience with the comparisons they consciously or subconsciously make are different.
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Comparison is different for everyone.
Sometimes we don’t even realize we are comparing. Sometimes we think we are setting our own goals or seeing our own potential. But really we are seeing where other people are and thinking that’s where we should be too. That’s the comparison game happening in your life.
The easy part to tell yourself and remember- you aren’t that person and you shouldn’t try to be ‘them’- that’s just not cool or healthy mentally.
And the hard part to tell yourself and remember- God made you who you are, and has you in this place in this season of life for a specific purpose. God has an incredible plan for YOUR life (“…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11) and you are totally AWESOME as you are (“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” -Psalm 139:14).
Your purpose in this life will never be to try to live up to someone else’s potential or success or looks or identity or have those same cool ‘things’. God did not make us in His own image for us to chase after someone else’s image in this life.
And by image, that can mean so many different things. It can literally mean your image and appearance. It can mean the image of a spouse and babes and family you see other people with. It could be the image of fancy homes and cars and cool things others own. It could mean the image of a successful business, career, or degree you see someone with. It could be the image of attention you see other people getting, or the confidence you see others wearing. Whatever it is for you that you may be comparing or yearning to be like- God didn’t make us for that.
Years ago I used to struggle hard with comparison of appearance, and don’t get me wrong I still have my moments, but I have grown so much from the poor confidence I had in my body image when I would see others. Or when I would work really hard to lose weight and get fit only to still not have the body I wanted. And what I learned then- that everyone’s body is simply built differently and made differently and I’m not supposed to look like others and I don’t have to look like others to be beautiful– holds true and fits with every other line of comparison we may do in this life.
We aren’t all meant to do everything the same, live the same, have the same experiences, look the same, dress the same. That’s the beauty of this life is that God gave it to you specifically for a purpose as an individual.
Maybe we aren’t supposed to be rich and famous. Maybe we aren’t supposed to drive the nicest, newest cars. Maybe we aren’t supposed to have a six-pack and perfect hair and skin. Maybe we aren’t supposed to have the biggest house in the neighborhood with the nicest yard. Maybe we have it all wrong in our hearts and minds. Maybe the purpose for our lives isn’t found in those things.
Maybe we need to trust in God in His plan for our lives. Maybe we need to trust that God will always provide and just because we think we want or need something, God always knows better. It’s not that God doesn’t want us to succeed, but success has to be measured in God’s eyes, not the eyes of this world or in the image of others. The success in our lives should be fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives day in and day out, and living a life for Him to bring others closer to Him.
Because maybe, just maybe, the reason I am here has absolutely nothing to do with my weight or my social media reach or how much money I make or how my hair looks- but how many lives I can touch and change, how many people I can pray for, how many souls I can bring joy to.
Knowing that comes with true God-confidence that allows no room for comparison.
Have your own issues with comparison changed over the years as you’ve gotten older?
Let me get really real with you guys for a second- My biggest struggle with comparison as an adult is success in business and thinking I should be at a certain place with my blog where I see other bloggers, as well as living for the future instead of today (aka thinking about babes and a house in the country- a place where we aren’t at yet in life, but where I see others).
And whenever I realize I’m stuck in those places of seeing others with their cute babes, nice houses, and good writing with successful blogs- the only thing that can pull me out of getting stuck thinking about where I wish I was or where I want to be and stop comparing, is pure faith.
Remembering that God has me here in this season, for a reason. And I am truly blessed in this life. I shouldn’t rush it, instead I should look around and soak in this moment- it wasn’t promised and neither is the next. To God be the glory that I get to live this life with an incredible husband, surrounded by amazing family and friends. Oh and the sweetest pup too!
You could look around at what you don’t have, but instead look at all that God has given you. Gratitude is a huge part of keeping a strong faith in God and avoiding comparison.
It is always easier said than done to just stop the comparison game, especially in the world we live in today full of social media highlight reels, entitlement, everyone trying to get ahead, everyone offended by others living their lives, and so much more. But I’m telling you there is something so empowering about putting blinders up and believing in God’s plan for your own personal life, and setting your sights on living to your own potential in that, not trying to live to the potential of others.
“Don’t measure your progress using someone else’s ruler.”
I heard this quote the other day and my mind was blown. It was one of those quotes that when you read it you realize how badly you needed to hear it. I didn’t even realize I had been doing that until I saw this. And right then I knew I had been measuring my own progress, my own success, my own abilities with a ruler that wasn’t even my own.
This phrase rings in my mind often and it goes something like this- each day, your goal should be to do and be a little bit better than the day before. So basically, instead of trying to be like or be better than someone else and seeing others have the things you wish you could have, or even dream of in the future- look to God. Just focus on being a little bit better than the you were yesterday. Comparing your life to others takes away the simple joys of each day.
Comparison is a thief of joy.
Let’s not let the thoughts of wanting, yearning, and wishing to live to the potential of others or be the image of others, or achieve what others have achieved ruin the joy we have been given in this moment, in this day, in this life.
Let’s just live. Let’s just embrace who we are as amazing people made in the image of God for a specific purpose. Who cares where you’re at in life, for you’re exactly where God needs you to be!
Lord, I pray that whoever reads this experiences freedom from the comparison game they have been playing. I pray that someone learns to experience the true joy of being where they are in their particular season of life and fully trusts you with their path. I pray for their guidance, strength, and perseverance to fight through the thoughts of comparison. I pray they can place their hope in you and experience pure faith and gratitude for the blessings You have given them. I pray the same for myself when I let those thoughts of comparison in too. Amen.
All the love,
In case the comparison game has you feeling a bit down, check this blog post out next: To the Girl that Feels Like she’s Failing
