Girl, It’s Time to Love Yourself

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Girlfriend, it’s time to live, and love every bit of yourself.

I have spent so many years of my life obsessing over my insecurities and things I disliked about my appearance, my shortcomings, and so much more.

Truthfully, I think it’s something we all struggle with at times whether we want to admit it or not.

But I am done with that, and you should be too.

I think those of us that struggle in this area all want the same thing – to Love ourselves enough so that we can love others better and truly live.

Am I right?

Life is simply too short to not love every bit of ourselves in this beautiful life. When we are focusing on ourselves and the negatives, we miss out on all the beauty of life, the ability to be purely happy, the love we have to give others, and all the blessings we have to be grateful for.

What is it that’s stopping you from truly loving yourself?

Do you think you’re not worthy? Do you have regrets? Do you look in the mirror and pick yourself apart? 

Is it something from your past? Did someone make you feel as though you weren’t enough?

Is it the weight you want to lose? Is it the lack of confidence in your finances or relationships?

Do you wish you were in a different season of life?

Are you too focused on your past or too busy worrying about the future?

Why don’t you find yourself fully loving and embracing who YOU are? It is a big question. One that could be loaded down with a variety of answers. But whatever your answer is, I hope and pray you know that you can overcome it. I know you can, because God always can.

My answer to this question has always been simple and pretty common: My body image. It is always what has stopped me from just embracing all that is me. I could look in a mirror and instantly find what I didn’t like. 

And now, after doing some things to improve that view of myself- physically, mentally, and spiritually- it is much much harder to look in the mirror and definitively pinpoint what I don’t like. I just see me now and all that I am, instead of all that I’m not.

Maybe you have full confidence in your body image, but struggle to fully love yourself in other areas. This is so common, but oftentimes not discussed. I’m hoping you’ll find some clarity in this post and some next steps too.

It can be hard to break down those walls and really meet yourself where you are. But I think step one is asking yourself the question. What’s stopping you from total self love?

How can you overcome that?

For me, the answers have been Faith and Effort.

The faith I have in God is HUGE, so why would I doubt His creation of me? I have for far too long and letting go of my own self doubt has only allowed me to grow closer to Him. 

The answer is simple, but the action behind it is so much harder. Can you relate?

For years I have battled this and it is a daily choice I have to make- The choice to love myself wholly enough to not put so much focus on myself, and be able to move my headspace to another area that deserves my time and love.

I thought my own negative thoughts that consumed me never really hurt anyone but myself. But I was wrong. Spending that time thinking about myself became selfish.

Not only do I want to grow stronger in my faith, body image, and confidence, but I want to avoid being a selfish person like that ever again.

The other answer for me to overcoming my lack of self love is Effort.

Plain and simple effort.

I have spent this entire year not just exercising regularly and eating more whole and balanced, but getting to know my body better. Sounds a little silly, doesn’t it?

It sounds silly, but becoming more in tune with my body has allowed me to love it better. I know I’m working hard to not only become stronger, but to be healthier on the inside too. I have learned how certain foods and meals can affect me, and bloating no longer skews my self view. I’m more worried about the numbers on the weights I’m lifting than the numbers on a scale or on a clothing tag.

It’s truly crazy how different I feel about myself since last year at this time. And the differences are a strengthened faith and putting in some solid effort to grow in a positive direction.

I want to be so grateful for the one body God gave me. The hips that don’t lie, the peach, the arms that are good for hugging, the tummy that has had delicious food, the thick thighs for my pup to sit on, the crazy freckles that appear everywhere, the frizzy hair, all of it. I am learning to be grateful for all of it.

The solutions for everyone will be different since the reasons everyone struggles are different, but again the endgame goal is all the same: Love yourself enough so that you can love others better and truly live. 

I think step two is asking yourself the question: How can you overcome what’s stopping you from total self love?

Body Confidence in the Summer Months

Now if body confidence isn’t an issue for you and your self love struggles come from another area of life, then this probably won’t resonate with you, so feel free to skip ahead.

I wrote A Letter to My Summer Self where I promised myself some things, and a few of them were centered around my self love and body confidence during sweet summertime.

I have always somewhat dreaded the summer months because of the smaller clothing it requires to stay cool. And that always affected me and my mood when getting ready to leave the house from June to September. I feel like I always found myself silently wishing it would cool down earlier in the days, and earlier in the year so I could just feel a little more hidden with more clothes and not have to sweat to do so.

Has anyone else ever felt like that?

But this summer I will not feel that way or wish the sun away. I will wear what I feel best in…and I will feel great in it all!

Two years ago was the first summer I felt pretty confident in my body. And last year, well let’s not talk about 2020 and the weight gain/low confidence/awkward summer that was for me. 

That weight gain equated to low confidence. It always has. Past tense. Because I’m not doing that anymore. 

My confidence in the summer months will have absolutely nothing to do with how I look in shorts, swimmies, tanks, and other fun summer clothes. And there will be no comparison either. More on that here. Are You Playing the Comparison Game?

It’s time to put down those heavy expectations we sometimes put on ourselves to have that perfect body in a bikini. Put it down, girlfriend!

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These steps to take seem so simple, and in truth they are, but we all know they are more difficult than they seem. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here writing about it for so many of us that struggle.

At the end of the year last year I made a commitment to myself that I would work on this and make it a priority to love myself better, in order to love others even better. I hope that now with some solid steps to take and advice from a recovering self-disliker that you can feel ready to make this commitment too.

It is an incredibly freeing feeling to look in the mirror and simply see myself for all that I actually am, not all that I choose to pick apart and doubt.

Lord, I pray that the person reading this learns to love herself wholly and I pray that this comes from a growth in love for You. I pray that she can experience a fulfilled life without distractions of her own self doubt bringing her down and further from You and the plans You have for her. I pray that the person reading this can find what it is that’s holding them back and put it down and move past it in a healthy and healing way. Lord, I pray for myself too as I continue this journey and choose to love Your creation every single day. Lord, thank You for the gift of life and the gift of health. Help us all to be grateful for the one life and body You gave us. Amen.

All the love,